When the Earth was Still Cooling
In the land before time, nobody needed a credit card. Back in the day, we just shook hands and a contract was made to come in and pay your bill every month.
Fast forward to the 2020’s and doing a credit business on a handshake sounds like someone lost their minds and started giving away the store. It’s….yes….nuts.
But the truth is, Credit Card Companies “kind of” do that, albeit without the handshake.
The Link between the Credit Card in your pocket and the Merchants you do business with, is a guy like me.
Old, Fat, Balding…..ooops wait…that’s my dating profile….duh!
So what is IT, that I do? Well aside from sitting on the couch, watching tv and eating fried cake donuts, I’m what you might call an “enabler.”
No, I’m not enabling your Uncle Butch to continue his drinking and skirt chasing ways…I am that “missing link” (Drat….I think my Mother actually called that that once) between your wallet and your favorite retailer.
You see, when you whip out that Mighty Mastercard for yet another round of drinks at Billy Bobs All Night Steakhouse and Saloon, I take your credit card information via one of my trusty terminals and deposit the cash in Billy Bobs Bank Account.
Thus, my job is to make YOU poorer and Billy Bob Richer. See, I’m an enabler.
Truthfully, neither your credit card nor Mastercard would be worth a hoot if I wasn’t there to holler the information from one place to the next.
Besides, Ol’ Billy Bob has become a fast good friend since I keep him all cashed up and you plied with good whiskey as your need calls for it.
You’ll also find me at Freddy’s French Fry House, Georgie’s Garage, Hairport and Ice Cooler Service, and many many more.
That’s all I do….and I’d LOVE to do it for YOU.
No matter if you have one of these catchy names, we want the opportunity to chat with you.
Now, here’s what I will 100% PROMISE:
1. You’ll pay me ZERO, EVER.
2. There are NO Upfront Fees
3. Our Brand New Equipment is TOTALLY FREE
4. We’ll have you up and running in 4-5 Business Days
5. We will Save you TONS of Money. In the past WEEK, we’ve saved customers in excess of $100,000.00
Ask for my Super Dooper Risk Free Advice today and I GUARANTEE YOU that I will Save you Money – or we’ll pay you for your time.
Jack
